It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
