I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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