I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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