i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
being pregnant is like rehab
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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