hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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