like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
