He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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