im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
