me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
