so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
