I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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