it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
