it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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