So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
