Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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