the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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