Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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