I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
