Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
