fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
