i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
