I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just pynch a tree in the face
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
