You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
