Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
