I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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