K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize