i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
