Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Randomize
