He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
