scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
