It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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