There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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