She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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