we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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