I cockslap morals
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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