those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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