You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
