This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
