About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The Olympian is in my bed
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
