yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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