I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
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