Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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