Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
