i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
