at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
