i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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