Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
