Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
