What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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