they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
