Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I understand Curling. That high.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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