I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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