So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
