i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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